Japan, Or: Dear God Where Am I? Part Three

So yesterday I left you guys with the story of the crazy Izakaya (dinner show) and Mr. Yucky humping a ton of girls. Well, let me tell you how the end of the night went, because it’s just as ridiculous.

Sitting just behind David at the Izakaya was another couple. Miley (who pronounced it Mirey), a very Japanese girl who loved Disney as much as me, and her boyfriend, Jeremy, who was half-Japanese, half-Canadian, ano had moved to Japan from Canada just a few years prior.

Miley *also* got her drawing humped

They ended up asking us if we wanted to go out after the show, and obviously we agreed. Miley said she knew a really awesome bar to go to, so we headed out right away.

Very Vampire-y

Now, I don’t know if I’ve gotten this totally across yet, but Tokyo is full of weird places. Thus, we ended up at the Vampire Cafe, the *spookiest* bar/ restaurant around. It was in Ginza, where all the rich people like to play and hang out, so obviously we fit right in (not).

We spent a few awesome hours talking and hanging out, enjoying bloody drinks and creepy appetizers. Or something like that. Miley regaled us with tales of her work at Tokyo Disney and guys if you think I’m into Disney you need to meet these people. Fanatic doesn’t quite cover it.

Have you ever heard of the Japanese term Kawaii? It means cute, and is the favorite term of Harajuku girls (think violently pink dress-up clothes). Well, at one point during the night, Miley started telling David, whom she had already dubbed Denzel Washington, that he was *especially* kawaii. Over and over.

David “Kawaii” Ragland

David loved this.

Eventually, however, her boyfriend got pissed and snapped at her “you can’t just call another man cute, Miley! It’s rude! What does his girlfriend think??”

Obviously I thought it was hilarious but did my best to look offended.

After a few hours, we wrapped up the night, took a few pictures with the resident vampire, and headed home to our apartment.


And thus ended our first day in Japan.

-Carissa “Not so Kawaii” Rawson

Japan, Or: Dear God Where Am I? Part Two

Ok! I know I promised some more Japan, so here we go:

Remember how I left off with Mr. Yucky drawing a picture of my face and then humping it? It gets better.

There also happened to be a large table of Japanese girls, maybe 10 or so, who looked to be 18-25ish.

See those girls in the background?

Well, they picked America as the country that they wanted him to represent. Cool, right?


So, Mr. Yucky went back into his closet and set up a puppet show with a little green frog, who proceeded to tell us about his life in America. Great, wonderful, etc etc. Finally, the little green frog goes: “do you guys want to meet my brother?”

“Yes!” shouts everyone.

“Do you want to meet my brother?”


“His name is Dick! Do you guys want to meet my brother Dick?”

“Yes!” shouts everyone except David and I because we speak English and oh my god this is not going to end well.

The frog, hearing that we don’t respond, turns to me and says, “Carissa, DO YOU WANT TO MEET MY BROTHER DICK??”

To which I say no. Hell no. Everyone else in the room looks at me like I’m a spoilsport, which is short-lived because Mr. Yucky encourages them to start chanting his name.

“Dick! Dick! Dick!” shout the Japanese girls.

And out jumps Mr. Yucky in a giant green frog costume, with the puppet frog placed firmly over his crotch. He leaps at these girls and starts ramming the frog at their heads. They scream and cover their faces as he hops around the room shouting that his name is Dick.

Because America.